September 21, 2008

In The Eyes of a Child



This week my kindergartener came home and showed me what she has been working on in school. I LoVe to go through my kid’s coloring pages! I enjoy studying their ‘art’ work.

It’s like staring at a distorted Van Gogh.

What really takes skill and proficiency is deciphering the sentences they’re learning to write – sometimes it’s harder than reading Morse code.

My daughter showed me her ‘book.’ Allow me to introduce you to my family…as seen through the eyes of a 5 year old...






This is my daughter. She appears to have been born with Elephantitis and lobster claws for feet. The condition apparently afflicts only one leg. Oh- and dinosaur fins for arms.

It must have been an incurable birth defect...

She also seems to have a severe outbreak of chicken pox on her stomach, and what looks like leprosy overtaking her face and extending to the opposite side of her head…



This is our family. Mom, dad, the kindergartener, and her older sister…all appropriately named. The fifth person (the pink one) is unidentified.
Hmmm…we apparently forgot to name her and put it on the birth certificate…

In my kindergartener’s family portrait, we are completely missing the sixth person in the family. The poor kid must be so neglected, my kindergartener just forgot the baby existed.
This picture tells me that the hidden portrait of my baby, (who is next to the ‘pink’ kid) has super natural powers of invisibility…but miraculously appears when a poopy diaper needs to be changed.

I need to tap into his invisibility powers and try that on myself…


…And we live in the house Bigfoot built….



This is our pet, Ella. I thought it was a cat. I didn’t know we owned a rare, endangered pet hippo…that looks like it has a severe case of gangrene…



It’s rough when your best friend is a conjoined twin who owns a pet spider, like the one in Lord of the Rings, who captures unsuspecting friends and spins them into a spider sack.

I don’t think I like the way these girls play…especially looking at the demonic glee on their faces, while their friends are frowning.

I may have to talk to her friend’s mother...


Let's take A closer look







Our daughter grew. Her elephantitis cured itself, her dInOsAur fins disappeared and she matured. She met a wonderful man. They have much in common. They garden together by trimming the bushes and cutting each other’s hair...

My daughter married and became the MRS. Edward Scissorhands…


6 comments:

AnnieAd said...

Save those pics. It's so much fun as the years go by to pull them out and have a good laugh with the 'artist'. I love your stuff - keep writing!

kdemille78 said...

Oh my goodness you are hilarious. I love to read your posts on this blog, I laugh outloud every time I do! Thanks for keeping us moms sane with your humor. KD

Mertgirl said...

Wow, thats a bit harsh... considering where she learned her art skills. Uh.. must i mention the grapes on the wall yet again. :) HAHAHA!! Uh... this is why I keep my art skills to myself. :) Love it all.

tina said...

That is so funny. I hope the mean friend isn't my daughter........

Natalie said...

That is hillarious! I love looking at my kids artwork too! It's fun to see the world through their eyes :)

Heather said...

I have so much fun readig your blogs! I laugh so much my children have to run up stairs and see why mommy is making so much noise! PLEASE keep them coming