October 11, 2011

SOLUTION TO SOLICITORS



I've come up with an awesome idea.
Well, maybe it's awesome for me, but I came up with an idea for all those door-to-door salesman that come knocking, trying to sell me something "so amazing" that it will save me money. Hense, they IGNORE my "No Soliciting" sign.


*sigh*


I know it's a tough economy, but really? It respectful to obey the homeowner's wishes. You are already on the wrong foot should you choose to ignore their signs. I know I've blogged about this before, but can you see that I have a problem with solicitors?


I want to put something up on my door that says, "I don't care if it'll save me money, I don't want your product!"


(read: go away or I'll let my feral 4 year old bite you.)



My mom bought some great Halloween decor. I fell in love with the skeleton she had.







It was then I had an ingenious idea!

Forget the Halloween wreaths, move over cutesy pumpkins, bats, and hay bales, I am now going to hang this 3 foot skeleton from my door. And it will look just like this:






Giving my skeleton a halloween costume, complete with pirate patch, fake beard, and sash, I will hang a sign down from it's ribs and it will read in bold letters:



Here ye be warned!

NO SOLICITING!

Failure to adhere to the code, must suffer the wrath of this household and have yer corpse strung up like Larry, the last solicitor who dare challenge the code…





LOVE it.

And I like it so much, I'm going to keep it up for a long time. Truly.

Novemeber, I'll just dress it up like a pilgrim.
(It'll look mighty handsome in a cummerbund. And more threatening with a musket.) 

Decemeber--well duh. Santa.
(although it would make a cute skeletal reindeer)

February: Cupid
(Come on, wouldn't that make you smile? I'd love to see a cloth diaper on him. But I won't be changing his diapers.)

March: leprechaun
April: Easter bunny
(Awww. The first ever Easter skeleton.)
(wannabe...) 

See. Impossible ideas abound!

No doubt it will catch the next solicitor's eye, one who dared pretend he didn't "see" the 'no soliciting' sign on my doorstep WILL NOT miss this!


I ♥ Halloween.




2 comments:

Lali Johnson said...

I loathe solicitors. It never fails, they always come right after I've laid the baby down for a nap, and completely ruining my day. I pity the fool who has that job, seriously.

LOVE your idea though! I have a sign that says "beware of me" and a "the witch is in" sign too. I hope that gives them and idea that I'm not someone to tangle with :)

Kayli said...

Genius! Pure genius. Solicitors are the worst. We have a sign too and it's like they can't read.