FAREWELL PRIORITIES

School is now underway and Fall has officially begun.




In reflection to the past summer, the sad thing is, I had plans for it. I was going to get organized. I was going to rearrange my cabinets before fall came.




“What a goal, Camryn. You go, girl!”
“Don’t I know it, little voice in my head that should be medicated!”




I, Camryn, was going to branch out and organize the junk drawer. {Sounds like an oxy-moron. ‘Organize the JUNK drawer’.} Camryn, fearless mother who cuts onions without a tear, yet scrambles like a house cat hosed down with water on a daily basis to hide from children, was going to tame the pencils and scissors that continue to stab a hole in her kid’s fingers, much like the hole in the check book from continuous Band-Aid purchases.





But instead of those lofty aspirations I had for summer, new goals roped me in. HIGHER, more achievable goals.





During the summer, the kids and I lived out of laundry baskets:

To be honest, I’m going for the longest consecutive record for how long I can go without using my dresser.

I made the goal to play more games with the kids.

I We had loads of fun. I played summer-long games of cops and robbers with my kids. Only, I modernized the version. We played: “Get upstairs and run for your lives before I beat you blue with the toes attached to my foot!”

We played “clean your room” and “no friends before noon”, and my favorite: skeeball. Only…with running targets.

How you play:

The person in charge (meaning the mom) stands at the base of the stairs in front of a toy waterfall that has pooled down from the playroom and filled the hall in a river-like trail.

TIP: Make sure you ask the kids to clear off the stairs and carry their things up at least a dozen times so that you know you’ve been ignored—it’ll make said toys fly so much farther into the room when you finally ‘fly off the handle’.

{Hahaha. PUN intended.} You’ll develop a covetous arc on your swing as the toys are launched via your pitching arm.

This is where the skeeball’s moving targets and live action come in. You’ll become videogame E.V.N.Y.

You MUST use your “no-nonsense mom voice” as you order your children to gather their things—and help them by chucking toys up the stairs while the children are hauling said items.

The child on the top stair is worth 1000 points, middle stair 500, and the lower stairs 100. Kids standing beside you DO NOT COUNT for any points.

Those stomping away and refusing to help: 3000 points—no matter where they stand.

Other goals I actually did meet this summer: I let the shower slime grow. There was soapy, goopy, nasty stuff smeared around the edges of the shower and exuding down the walls that makes you wonder if this was Picasso’s inspiration. {Or maybe it was because he liked to paint—but that’s irrelevant—and beside the point--}

My shower slime could speak and sing woeful tales from the drain.

*This is where you insert raging covetousness*

No, no. Go ahead.

I’ll wait.

So, as I was saying, I went all summer without cleaning my shower. The build up that accumulated in and around it…well let’s just say that I’m now afraid to shower for fear of contracting giardia.

So many goals were achieved, but the proudest of them all: utter slothfulness.

Summer of 2011—watch out. :)