CHANGES AT MMU

Some of you may have noticed my absence from blogging. I wish I could say I was vacationing in Thailand, spending my days baking my albino white bod on the sandy white beaches of some exotic island whose name cannot be pronounced, while I sleep to the sound of the surf and the absence of demanding crying kids.

Ahhhhh………doesn’t that sound good? Yeah, it does sound good but…

Reality can be harder to swallow. Instead of sandy white beaches, my pathetic, larthargic bod and I have been camped on crinkled bed sheets, watching TV for 3 months. I am not a TV watcher so daytime TV has been punishment. However—I love, love, LOVE Ellen!

But, there are important things I have learned while forced into couch-potato-hood:

1- There are too many messed up people who are willing to take their legal problems to national TV and whine—thus the many, many judges who continue to get their own show and fill up every slot of daytime TV imaginable. Does America really care if your former best friend’s sister’s uncle’s cousin's aunt shot your beloved cat with mouth wash from a syringe and you want medical expenses paid in full for the $34 office visit??

2- Diarrhea is one of the many side effects of bladder control pills.


3- Daytime Soaps continue to get ratings?


4- If you’re going to buy a truck, it’s gotta be Ford tough.


5- Charmin’s toilet paper is so soft, it not only makes bears sing love songs while on the pot, it makes them want to snuggle on the couch with their mate and press toilet paper up against each other’s face. {That’s my idea of a romantic evening. Isn't it yours?}



6- If your husband offers to wash the deck—run very far away and hide before his “power wash” makes you hit the deck.


7- Pregnancy and I don’t mesh well.



Yep. I’m prego! And sick out of my mind. The meds I am taking take a slight edge off, so I haven’t had any IV’s—though I’ve come close. So for those tuning in, thanks for bearing with me. The last two months have been chaotic, making it hard to find something funny to blog about. The biggest challenge I face these days is trying to keep a few sips of liquid down and hope it stays there—all the while my kids have turned rabid and the house is now their domain.

*Family members need not fear. Tetanus shots will be given out before the family Christmas parties so that my kids don’t spread the disease.




All in all, we are excited to bring a new addition to this family. It’s wonderful to know it’s my final pregnancy. Even though this child-bearing chapter in my life will be over and I am happy about it, it doesn’t come without its bittersweet moments. I have a hard time dwelling on the fact that this will indeed be my last. My last baby. The last time I’m going to see a child get its first tooth, first foods, first step. The last time I get to snuggle my own little infant and know that the year will pass quickly and I’ll have a toddler on my hands.

Babies make me happy. Toddlers make me cry.

Again, the bittersweet. :)

While I may not be up to blogging some weeks, I still enjoy writing and chronicling the humorous aspects of life. I guarantee there will be many things to blog about in the near future! :)