April 05, 2010

APPETIZERS FROM THE CRYPT







Holding on to the counter, I supported my weight as I tried not to fall to the floor in a puddle of uncontrollable laughter. Tears left streams down my now ruined Covergirl make-up. My bladder throbbed and I struggled to get myself down the hall to the bathroom in time. (I made it, in case you were curious.)



The memory was of a Thanksgiving years ago.



It was our turn to attend Thanksgiving with my husband’s side of the family. My husband and I were chatting with family, catching up with everyone. In order to get the meal ready, a slew of females had stormed the kitchen, seized the ovens, and imprisoned an unfortunate turkey to be our dinner.



I don’t recall much of the conversation as I waited for dinner to be served. Things just took a little longer that year and so we continued to wait patiently…well, some of us did.



As I talked with my sister-in-law who was decorating the tables, placing napkins and arranging leaves around the centerpieces, I admired the cute, hand-sized brown Mayflower ships that she had arranged around the leaves. They were light-weight and she began to fill these shallow, bowl-like Mayflower ships with brown and orange M&M’s.










Don’t ever underestimate someone’s hunger pangs.


As we chatted, waiting for the last preparations to be finished, I suddenly heard this huge crunching sound beside me. It would be equivalent to the sound of teeth breaking against clay.



I turned. My eyes bulged, and then watered as my husband exclaimed, “Man! This chocolate is horrible!”


Ladies, my husband IS intelligent. He has a doctorate degree—but clearly it wasn’t in Food and Nutrition.



I stared at my husband, mortified, whose mouth was now full of a hardened plaster Mayflower ship as he crunched it, trying to work his mouth around the brown shards. Sticking out his tongue like a bee had stung it, and talking like it was swollen, “This stuff is nasty!” he gagged.



Honestly, what is a girl to do?

I erupted into peals of laughter as did the others around us.



“That isn’t chocolate,” I struggled to tell him. “The Mayflower ships are plaster. They just look like chocolate, they’re for decoration. The M&M’s are the appetizer…”


“Oh.”


Oh, goodness, how I love that boy. :)



Plaster bits hung off his tongue like a 3 year old who tried something for the first time, anxious for their mommy to quickly wipe it from their mouth. After handing him a napkin, he took it and immediately put it to use.



Seriously, I wish I had pictures. All I can offer you is a visual image. *Sigh*


I have learned that you can’t keep a man waiting for his food. And you know your husband is getting hungry when he starts eating the table decorations! :)



*Photos courtesy of Marthastewart.com and Countryliving.com


10 comments:

Jess said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I can totally see Captain Awesome doing something like that!

Thankfully I don't have any family members that would take the time to make a mini version of the Mayflower. We cook, serve it up buffet style & then fight to see who gets to be first in line!

The holidays aren't just getting too commercial they're getting too violent. LOL

Kayli Nagel said...

Haha that is so funny!

Emmy said...

Lol!!! That is so something my husband would do, as once he is hungry.. yeah you had better get him some food :)

MommyMert said...

tehehe... its funnier because I know your hubby.

Mrsblogalot said...

HAAAAA!!! That is great!! Good thing the chairs weren't decorated! (-:

Rachel Sue said...

hahahahahahaha!

That sounds like something my husband would do.

Aging Mommy said...

Very funny - I hope it didn't put him off his dinner :-)
Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your comments on play date nightmares!

Cindermommy said...

Strangely, I am now extremely hungry for chocolate! Sadly this would totally be something I would do, as my husband has issues and doesn't eat chocolate! :)

Rhonda (a.k.a. The Lively Squaw) said...

Yea! Another mean (and funny) mommy. Just my kind!

Love your blog template/colors, by the way.

Waving and following from MBC.

IASoupMama said...

Hello! Returning the follow! Love the image of your hubby spitting out bits of plaster -- too funny!