APPETIZERS FROM THE CRYPT

Holding on to the counter, I supported my weight as I tried not to fall to the floor in a puddle of uncontrollable laughter. Tears left streams down my now ruined Covergirl make-up. My bladder throbbed and I struggled to get myself down the hall to the bathroom in time. (I made it, in case you were curious.)



The memory was of a Thanksgiving years ago.



It was our turn to attend Thanksgiving with my husband’s side of the family. My husband and I were chatting with family, catching up with everyone. In order to get the meal ready, a slew of females had stormed the kitchen, seized the ovens, and imprisoned an unfortunate turkey to be our dinner.



I don’t recall much of the conversation as I waited for dinner to be served. Things just took a little longer that year and so we continued to wait patiently…well, some of us did.



As I talked with my sister-in-law who was decorating the tables, placing napkins and arranging leaves around the centerpieces, I admired the cute, hand-sized brown Mayflower ships that she had arranged around the leaves. They were light-weight and she began to fill these shallow, bowl-like Mayflower ships with brown and orange M&M’s.

Don’t ever underestimate someone’s hunger pangs.

As we chatted, waiting for the last preparations to be finished, I suddenly heard this huge crunching sound beside me. It would be equivalent to the sound of teeth breaking against clay.

I turned. My eyes bulged, and then watered as my husband exclaimed, “Man! This chocolate is horrible!”

Ladies, my husband IS intelligent. He has a doctorate degree—but clearly it wasn’t in Food and Nutrition.

I stared at my husband, mortified, whose mouth was now full of a hardened plaster Mayflower ship as he crunched it, trying to work his mouth around the brown shards. Sticking out his tongue like a bee had stung it, and talking like it was swollen, “This stuff is nasty!” he gagged.

Honestly, what is a girl to do?

I erupted into peals of laughter as did the others around us.

“That isn’t chocolate,” I struggled to tell him. “The Mayflower ships are plaster. They just look like chocolate, they’re for decoration. The M&M’s are the appetizer…”

“Oh.”

Oh, goodness, how I love that boy. :)

Plaster bits hung off his tongue like a 3 year old who tried something for the first time, anxious for their mommy to quickly wipe it from their mouth. After handing him a napkin, he took it and immediately put it to use.

Seriously, I wish I had pictures. All I can offer you is a visual image. *Sigh*

I have learned that you can’t keep a man waiting for his food. And you know your husband is getting hungry when he starts eating the table decorations! :)

*Photos courtesy of Marthastewart.com and Countryliving.com